Episode 4: Early in the morning

 

Zach WontDoIt bumps into his boss, Mr. BigPromisey FatMoney, CEO, ThreeTonsOfCode Ltd. at the entrance of the company's office building.

ZWD: Good morning boss, sorry for being late today, I overslept a bit. 

BPF: Good morning Zach. No problem, this could happen to anybody. Is everything ok today?

ZWD: Er, boss, truth is I have a problem.

Beep

BPF: What's the problem, Zach?

ZWD: Well, I need a small raise, because inflation, the European Union, Edward Snowden, the Ozone Layer, the...

BPF: Ok Zach, tell me what you need. In fact, don't. I agree in advance. Your work is valuable to us and you should get the money you deserve for it anyway.

Beep

ZWD: But boss, I need a 35% raise...

BPF: Done. You'll get it starting this month. No, now that I think of it you'll get the money for the whole year in advance. I like to keep you happy. Anything else?

ZWD: No, nothing for today, boss.

Beep Beep

BPF: Ok. Do you have something urgent to do today?

ZWD: No, boss. Everything has been completed on time. We met all deadlines and released our products bug-free. Of course this was made possible thanks to KnowAll WantItYesterday, our project manager, and SelfProc LaimedGenius, our chief developer. We work perfectly together.

Beep Beep Beep

BPF: And of course thanks to you, Zach. Don't underestimate yourself. You are the one who really gets things moving. We are proud of you.

ZWD: Boss...

BPF: Don't say a thing. It's exactly as I say. On a side note, I happened to talk to this annoying client of ours, Mr. Irrelev AntClueless, and I personally told him that if he doesn't respect your opinion he should look for consultants elsewhere.

Beep Beep Beep

ZWD: Boss, do you hear this?

BPF: No, I don't hear anything. What was I saying? Oh, I told him that his behaviour towards you was unacceptable. We can find 10 clients like him, we don't need him.

ZWD: Thanks boss! By the way, are we going to start with LostInTheDesert Ltd's project? 

BPF: No, I let it go. Maintenance would be trouble. They needed it 3 times sooner than initially estimated and I don't like having my people work overtime. We don't have so much availability anyway, because we need to design our architecture for future projects in advance. I've estimated that we will need about 8 months. This will help us with new projects, since we won't have to improvise. 

Beep Beep Beep Beep

ZWD: Are you sure you don't hear anything boss? Maybe it's some UPS beeping? 

BPF: No, nothing. Maybe it's some car from outside.

ZWD: Maybe...boss, I say you've done the best thing possible.

BPF: That's not all. I'll send you all to be properly educated on new platofrms, so that you have time to experiment. This way, when new projects come, we'll be ready.

ZWD: Are we going to be paid for our time attending seminars?

BPF: OF COURSE! This is an investment for the company.

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep

ZWD: WHAT is this beeping sound boss? Can't you hear it all this time? 

BPF: Zach, I think you may need some rest. Do you want to take the rest of the day off? I really can't hear anything. 

ZWD: Maybe I do, boss.

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

ZWD: ...I think I'll go home...

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

ZWD: ...get some rest...

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep 

...

...

...

...

...

BANG!

(Sound of alarm clock hitting the wall)

 

Another great day just started for Zach. Have a good day!

 

 




Comments (4) -

D
D
8/1/2013 11:55:06 AM #

Very Predictable and a bit of a waste of time for me as well as the writer.

Zach
Zach
8/1/2013 1:05:48 PM #

Yeah, it wasn't my intention to write a Hollywood script Smile Thanks for the comment anyway, I suspected that this would be a bit boring compared to the rest of the stories. I won't do it again!

CJ
CJ
8/10/2013 12:00:58 PM #

It was predictable, but still entertaining. Good for a quick laugh.

SpamSlayer
SpamSlayer
8/10/2013 4:27:52 PM #

Hhahahahha Maybe I am a bit slow. I only got it at the end and I found it funny.

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About

Three Tons Of Code is a blog with humorous fiction stories for software developers and people who work in IT in general. It has been noticed that some project managers will not like the blog's content so you'd better not stand next to them when they start throwing things at the computer screen.

See the "Webz" version for images and fun stuff from around the Internet: www.3tonsofcode.com/webz/

Psst! If you are a Project Manager (what are you doing here?) just give this a try. If you are a developer, though, give this to your Project Manager to play and enjoy weeks of undisturbed work :)
 
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